The start of something beautiful?

Wednesday after work, Mike and I went to Saginaw to get some last minute things for Lindsay's baptism on Sunday. We got home about 6:30 pm. Lindsay was a little fussy, so I took her to calm her down. She fell asleep about 7pm. Usually she wakes up about 10 or 10:30pm and then will wake up anywhere between 2 and 3am. I was waiting for her to wake up, and she just kept sleeping. I told Mike to go to bed and I would wait for her to wake up for her feeding. To my amazement, she didn't wake up until 12:30am. She ate and went right back to bed at 1:15am. She didn't wake up again until 6:15am. I thought this might be a fluke thing. She had been a bit under the weather because of her shots on Monday. But to our delight, she had a repeat performance last night as well. Could this be the start of her sleeping through the night? Even if it isn't, it has been very nice to get some solid sleep. I may still look tired, but I am actually quite rested. I haven't felt like this since about the 8th month of my pregnancy. Thank you Lindsay for letting Mom and Dad get some much needed rest. And like Dad says every time you do something new or special, "I'll buy you an outfit". Since we are going shopping and Dad will be at a hockey game, we can buy something girly =) Although the Adidas outfit Dad likes is pretty cute. We'll see.

Shots, Shots, and more Shots!!!

Today was the day I had been dreading. Lindsay had her first round of immunizations today. She had to get a total of 5 shots and one was one she had to drink. I didn't know if they would combine the immunizations into one shot or how they would do it. There was no combining here. She got 3 shots in one leg and 2 in the other. She was crying so hard she couldn't catch her breath. As a mother, I felt so bad. I knew she was in pain but there was nothing I could do but comfort her. She seemed to be doing ok. We took her to see Grandma Cathy at her work and then went to see Grandpa Eric at his work. She slept most of the time. Things seemed to be going ok. We got home and she continued to sleep in her car seat. She started to cry a little bit, so we figured she was hungry. Little did we know that she was about to let the flood gates open again. She was crying out in pain again. I forgot to ask what dosage of baby Tylenol we could give her. Mike had to call the doctor's office while Lindsay screamed bloody murder in the background. About 15 minutes after we gave her the Tylenol, she started to calm down. She took her bottle and fell back asleep. She has been a little fussy most of the day. But can you blame her. I would be a bit cranky too if I had gotten 5 shots. Hopefully tomorrow will be a new day. I just have a feeling that tonight may be a long night. Here's hoping it isn't.

Another week down

It has been a week since my last post. I am back at work and things are going pretty good. I am tired, but not too bad. Lindsay is starting to sleep longer stretches more. That helps out a lot. I know I say this all the time, but she is really growing. Some recent pictures have now been posted to her photo gallery. Mike went to a Saginaw Spirit game last weekend and bought Linsday a Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle. The picture of the two of them is so cute I just had to share. She has to go for her shots on Monday. I am not looking forward to that. I hope she does ok, because I am going to be a mess. I don't like doing anything that is going to cause her pain. Maybe dad will buy her an outfit for being brave =) ( He already owes her a lot of outfits!) Well, I have to get back to work. I just had to share the cute photo. She truely is my miracle.

6 weeks of life

Today, Lindsay is 6 weeks old! So young, but she is growing so much. The past 2 days have been rough. Yesterday was my first day back to work. I knew it was going to tough, but it was really hard. Up until then, I hadn't missed anything that had gone on in her life. She has really strong neck muscles and has been picking up her head and turning from side to side when she is laying on my chest. She started cooing this past week, and I was there for it. Now, I had to leave her and go back to work. I missed our song time when I would sing to her, boppy time where we would work on neck control, and kanga time, where she would sleep on my chest. The only thing I could think about yesterday was getting home to her and just holding her and giving her a kiss. Today is hard, but easier than yesterday.

Grandpa Bob is watching her on Thursday's, so at least yesterday I didn't have to leave her at daycare. She seemed to have a good time with Grandpa. She broke him in by peeing while he was trying to change her diaper. I guess that is her was of initiating the new guy. I think they both had fun. I'm sure when the weather gets warmer, they will be out for walks. I'm sure they will probably meet Grandma Cathy for lunch now and again =)

Today was the first day we had to take her to daycare. I wasn't as emotional today as I thought I would be. I think it was because we were a little rushed getting everything ready for her to take. We had to get all her bottles made up, get extra clothes, get a pacifier, diaper cream, sleep sac, burp cloths, etc. Then we had to get ourselves ready on top of that. I think becasue we were so busy, it kept the tears at bay. I am still very sad that I can't be with her, but I know she is in good hands. I will get to be with her again in about 3 hours. Before Lindsay, I would look forward to the end of the day just to be done with work. Now I can't wait for the end of the day because I get to see her. It's wierd how someone so small, who can't really do a whole lot yet, can steal your heart. It's that instant and unconditional love.

Motherhood, the hardest job, but has the greatest benefits package!

She is growing so fast

As my days at home with Lindsay draw to a close, she still continues to do new things. Yesterday, she started to "coo". I thought it was a fluke thing, but she did it a second time that night. She has done more cooing today too. She seems to be righ on track with her milestones. She is beginning to track objects when they are moved. She was in the floor getting her diaper changed when I walked by. Mike noticed that she followed me. I walked back to see her and she again followed me. I am going to really miss our time together. I am sure Thursday will be one of the hardest days for me. I have already started to get emotional thinking about it. Stayed tuned for more updates on her milestones. They do so much growing in this time it is unreal.

The Battle, Chapter 3

In vitro fertilization, or IVF for short, was something that I never thought would be in my vocabulary. It had never even crossed my mind that getting pregnant would be an issue. My sister had become pregnant when she was a senior in high school. Knowing that I wanted to complete college before ever even thinking about kids, I did everything I could to prevent getting pregnant. While completing my internship, I met my now husband, Mike. Early on, I knew he was the "one". I couldn't help but think about having children with him. Now we were in a position where we had to face the fact that conceiving children naturally was not a realistic option. I was never told that getting pregnant on my own was impossible, but the chances were very slim. As a woman, being told you probably couldn't do something that came so naturally to so many, was devestating. All I could think was, "Why me?" You would hear about many unplanned pregnancies and the people that didn't even want their babies. Why could they get pregnant? And why was someone who wanted children so badly not able to conceive? I knew God had a plan, but I wasn't able to figure out what it was. Now I hold his plan in my arms. And of course, he knew what he was doing. It's just not easy to wait to find out what the plan is.

The journey of IVF began by finding out how to pay for it. After doing some research, there was a specific credit card that is used to help pay for medical costs. It is more like a loan. It has a low interest rate and you could pick how long (up to 48 months) you would like to have to pay it off. After looking into it, that seemed like the best option for us. We wanted children very much. Waiting until we saved up enough to pay for it in cash would be a long wait. We applied for the card and received the line of credit we needed to pay for the procedure. The only thing that we couldn't use the card for was the medications.

We decided to go ahead with things. We weren't going to tell our families when we were going to start. We didn't want them to get their hopes up. It was hard enough to deal with my emotions let alone try and deal with the thought of them getting excited when the procedure isn't a gaurantee. We had to go to a class with other couples to get our plan and an explination of how things were going to go. We also were given a demostration of how to give the intramuscular (IM) shots and the subcutaneuos (subQ) shots. Yes, this procedure involves daily shots, that you give yourself. It's a good thing I'm not afraid of needles.

I was given the list of drugs that I would need to order and all the other supplies that I would need to get started. The first round of drugs and supplies came to a total of just over $1600. The cost is so high because our insurance doesn't cover the cost of infertility treatments. Little did I know that that was just the start of medication costs. I received the shipment about 2 days after I placed the order. The medications aren't stocked at your local pharmacy, so the office gave us a list of reputable pharmacies that you could call and order the medications from. They were pharmacies that have been used by the fertility office and were familiar with the meds and supplies that are commonly used for IVF. Along with the list of medications that we were given, we were given dates to begin what meds and the quantities that would need to be given. They were contained in folder that also had instructions for giving the shots, descriptions of the meds, directions to the office where the retrieval and transfer would take place, and phone numbers to call with any questions you have during the process. We were ready to start the process that could possibly make our dream of becoming parents come true. Our process began on 3/24/2007. The next chapter will contain the first round of the IVF process. Stay tuned for the next installment.

Time sure does fly

It has been a week since my last post. The time just gets away from me. She turned 1 month old on Monday. It seems like it was yesterday that we beought her home from the hospital. She is really good at lifting her neck up and turning her head. She is starting to track things eith her eyes too. I can't believe how much she has grown as well. Everyone says how tiny she is. She is little, but to me she is growing so much. She is starting to outgrow her newborn outfits. The 0-3 month clothes are somehwat big, but not much.

I look at her everyday adn am still amazed that Mike and I created such a beautiful little girl. She is our little miracle. Your priorities definitely change when you have a child. We don't go out as much. One reason is because we are both still adjusting to getting less sleep. But we have to think of her first. I don't want her to have to be in her carseat for long periods of time. Also, I don't like to leave her for too long yet. I did leave her with her grandma while I went to the store the other day. (It was way too windy and cold and I didn't want to take her out in that.) I was only gone for about an hour, but I really missed her while I was gone. We used to be on the go all the time. Since Lindsay has entered our lives, we enjoy being at home with her. She make so many different faces and gives so much love, we enjoy hanging out with her. We still enjoy going out and hanging out with our friends, but staying out late hours is hard.

I knew our lives would change when she came into this world. Yes, we can't do everything we used to, but it really doesn't bother me. She has blessed my life in so many ways, I can't even describe. I thank God everyday for bringing her into our lives. She was definitely worth the wait. I will write the next chapter of the struggle in the next day or 2. Stay tuned....